5 ways to tell if your date wants a kiss

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It took 5 dates to get my first kiss from a guy I dated. It looks like you are off to a great start so far. I might not disqualify a guy immediately, but I will be looking at the way he treats others and the way he treats me.

Went for drinks on a first date, went pretty well. Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. At the end of the date he said he had a good time and he'd call to get together again soon. Is the second date a good time to go for the kiss?

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Translating men to women is what I do best. Your perspective on sex is way different than his perspective — and how neither of them is wrong! Women want the potential for love. Men want the potential for sex. Each time you go on a date, you have an agenda. You may not be conscious of it, but every man you meet causes you to ask these questions: Is he polite to the waiter? Does he reach for the check instantly? Does he talk positively about other women? Is he pressuring me for physical contact? Does he want to learn more about me? Is he looking for a long-term relationship? Does he have good values and will he fit in my world? These are all possible conclusions you can draw, but they are, by no means, the only conclusions. A man who talks about his crazy ex may be a great guy — with a really crazy ex and some good stories to tell. If he has bitter feelings, he may be entirely justified in having them. His only crime is in not knowing how he comes across on the date. He may just be insecure. Men who are attracted to you want to kiss you. I share this with you because you may feel that men are supposed to do things YOUR way. He should just KNOW that he should ask you questions. We do what comes naturally to us, not necessarily what comes naturally to YOU. Theoretically, we can do everything perfectly right on a date — check off 20 for 20 on your scorecard — and then be dismissed for trying to kiss you. And if every little misguided action can set you off, it becomes really hard to make a good first impression. Men want the potential for sex. Since you want the potential for love, you give your first dates the tightest screening outside of airport security — and dissect everything he says to determine if he has long-term relationship potential. Alas, while your heart is in the right place, your efforts are premature — and they usually backfire. Or even the first thing. Love and commitment potential. I totally agree with Evan, though, about the kiss after the date issue. I pay closer attention to see how much negativity and emotional hang up seems to be attached to the story. To pay closer attention. Trying hard to be perfect instead of being yourself is contradictory to everything you are told about how to go on dates. I once dated someone who I felt a real connection with, not just physically, but also, we just had a blast hanging out together. However, I am not the typical woman wanting marriage and children, never have, never will…marriage, maybe, children, never. So…it spooked me, and ended what was otherwise a very promising relationship. Even if your ex did turn out to be crazy, why divulge that on a first date? I might not disqualify a guy immediately, but I will be looking at the way he treats others and the way he treats me. A kiss at the end of a first date? I have dated enough guys albeit they are in the minority who did think about their behavior, and about how to be considerate, to know that they do exist. I found this to be… fairly accurate, watching myself on dates. Regarding the crazy ex scenario… first date? I agree that while maybe at some point in the history of forever, we have all gone out with a crazy person whether it was for 2 months or 2 years… , but I agree Nathan 1: If you are still hung up on an ex be it that you are still in love with them OR still hate them , you are probably not be relationship ready. I went out with two guys recently who had exes come up in conversation on the first date, but naturally. One said he knew my college despite the fact we are in a city 2000 miles away. His ex went there. That was all they said, and all I got from these ex mentions were Guy 1 dates smart girls kidding :- and Guy 2 is capable of long-term commitment. It makes me feel someone is being honest, and I can choose whether or not we click or whether or not this guy is all an act. Women want the potential for sex, too. But, I think that the difference is that women ask if we are attracted to him, specifically, and we take longer to process. Whereas men may not be so ready to discount the immediate possibility , as they are more apt to react to the possibility of having sex fun with any attractive female who happens to be on the date. I did also sleep with my husband Jake on our first date as well, but I knew about halfway through our date that he was, if not the one, then different than anyone else. I am finding that even some men I encounter on-line want to meet right away without even having a phone conversation. I would also add that women are in general the ones who make dating hard. I also feel the need to comment on some things, as I am sure there are guys reading your blog hoping to glean some pointers. Now you come across as a real person. In general though, a guy has to disclose some things about himself beyond instead of? He ALSO has to do more than that and ask her those questions about herself. He has to flesh himself as a real person with imperfections. Some with zero response to follow up calls or e-mails. Some people come off well in writing, but are totally different in person. I guess my experience has been that some screening is totally helpful, but beyond that, the returns seem to diminish greatly. I say screen enough to feel comfortable, but yeah, it can totally build up a fake picture of a person, more importantly, it creates a false sense of a connection being there. I liken it to almost a fake friendship that feels real and then you get dumped without warning. Its like the whole first date kiss thing. It seems to me that a lot of men have an online dating profile just to see if they can get sex and I have been told my some men that they have met women who do the same. I wish I knew what the answer is! At least when you agree to meet for a drink you can then behave the same way you would meeting ANY guy in a bar — chat, smile, flirt, have a drink…. Bottom line, if a woman is standing near enough to you for you to be able to kiss her… then kiss her! My profile and yours should give enough info for me to know whether I want to meet you or not. You are just wasting my time. There is no substitute for meeting up in real life! Instead, they are the result of years of hard work and effort, and often a steep learning curve that starts in adolescence. I have only one criteria on a date; Can this person engage me as I can engage them? Will that make me any less miserable if I end up with him? But during our lunch date he did not look me in the eye at all and constantly stared at the wall. And then kept on asking me uncomfortable questions. But then he continued to text me after the date. I finally got it. Why are they even dating me? They could be talking to a wall for all the difference it makes. Totally tone deaf to my responses or lack there of. And I have had relationships and sex in my day. Dating just seems a lot harder now than 10 years ago. The screening just seems a lot faster now. A woman can come across as very flirty and fun-loving in her electronic communication, but then come across as a lot more guarded when you are finally face-to-face. If we get along well, we can talk about the stuff a little later. Also, I end the date with a bug, and if she is still facing me as I lean in, our lips just seem to meet or either I get the cheek. I chalked that up to his being nervous, listened to what he said and just focused on getting to know him and seeing his good traits. He made me laugh, asked me about myself and just seemed so genuine. I focused on being present and enjoying him as opposed to going off a checklist, which by now, had been whittled down to 5 items………. I ended up hugging him at the end of the first date because I was a little nervous about kissing him but boy, did we enjoy that second date kiss…………and quite frankly, if I had just confined myself to his match profile and he had some photos posted that did not do him justice , and had not taken a chance and met him at a restaurant for our first date, I would have missed out on this really wonderful, loving man who was so so nervous and eager to please me. Hold her check with one hand lean forward toward her other cheek and give her a firm but gentle kiss on that cheek. It can be slow, or fast and warm. It means you are affectionate, attracted to her, but not being forward. Combined, it helped me to learn more about men, as well as learning about other women. I have to say that in the 5 years that I have been dating after my marriage ended, my dating experiences have been awful and very painful. I have only come across cheaters who pretended that they were being monogamous. I do have to say, however, that I suspect that some of these guys actually wanted me to find out so that I would be the one to initiate the break-up, thus relieving them of the responsibility of having to do it and looking like more of a bleephole than they already were. Some of these men were obviously very experienced at lying and at creating an illusion so that they could play their game and get what they wanted. They went as far as making a dinner to introduce me to their mother after being together for 3 months, introducing me to their grown children, sending flowers to my work, going on and on about how special I was to them, planning very cool dates that they knew I would enjoy, talking about going on vacation the next year or the year after that! These experiences have been very devastating and have destroyed any possibility that I will ever be able to trust a man. Most men, however, just lie, since they know that saying that type of thing is not going to get them far with the woman, so they just say what they think we want to hear. I never care about how much money the guy makes or go out with someone for their money. What I found out is that these signs of stability and commitment in those areas of life does NOT translate into stability and the desire to commit with ONE woman. In analyzing what has led to this very injurious and unhealthy situation for women we need affection, sex and love, but with someone who respects us! As a result of all of the above, I took myself out of the dating pool, with the consequence being extreme dissatisfaction with my life, feeling alone and lonely, and very angry at men for placing me in this situation. Ahh…if only I had the super powers of reading minds, hearts, and teleporting! Alas, I do not. So, I will stay out of the meat market and focus on other life areas. Men and women alike. Taking yourself off the market is doing YOURSELF a disservice. Especially if you have been hurt, even more so you do not want past experiences to haunt your future. It really pisses me off when someone hurts me, so much that I refuse to let them hurt me further. Take a little break but come back to it soon. Just to share my experiences with everyone, I have NEVER been rejected by a guy. The reason I have been told is that I am able to put myself in their shoes and they love it! So I have my choice of men. Also, I am in control of my life and how I interact with them. I approach them with open-heartedness and give them the benefit of doubt and negotiate when I need to. Nothing is more of a turn-off then a person who is suspicious. You know what they say, positive energy attracts positive energy. Until he has proven his worth to me, I do not see it for more than it is. As for sex, I delay it until I feel absolutely comfortable. For those who are out to cheat, they usually want fast gratification. I am not saying it is right, what I am saying is that it is realistic that it can happen to any of us. Working with Evan has helped me to really value myself and to be myself when I am dating. The future is wide open and bright, and I found a rare gem to cherish. I thank Evan for his advice and insight, his reading recommendations, and his encouragement through this process!

The point of a second date is to get deeper in with people, so whatever you were doing on the first resistance, do it on the second date, but more amplified. Dating just seems a lot harder now than 10 years ago. So go ahead and assume the attraction and make your move. So essentially what you want to do is just second date kiss chat with her. The stronger she stares the stronger the signal. One said he knew my college despite the fact we are in a city 2000 miles away. Now its time to really jump start that chemistry.